When I reflect on my life I realize that I am one lucky woman! I was fortunate enough to be born in a country that is safe where women have the same rights as men. I have never gone hungry and I have always had a roof over my head. I have a loving husband and an adundance of friends who I love. Although I don't love my job I am grateful for it. Without it I couldn't enjoy the life that I do.
When I'm grieving the gradual loss of control of my body, these are the things that I keep in mind. Do I have it better than a woman living in Afghanistan? OK..that's a no brainer. I have heard many times that "all you need is your health." I beg to differ! In my opinion, all you need is the freedom to chart your own course in the world.
It is an unfortunate reality that I have to rely on the kindness and compassion of the wonderful people in my life. It is the one thing that I don't think that I will ever get used to. OK....truth be told I friggin hate it! There are many things that I will never be able to do for myself - drive myself to work, paint my toe nails or scrub the kitchen floor. (The princess in me isn't too upset over the last thing!)
I could not imagine being one of the special people in my life who do so much for me. There are no words for how I feel about you. Truly, I couldn't live without you. Even while you are doing your best to help me, sometime you are hurting me. I feel so guilty that you have to do it all, I do. I can hear your sighs and I can see your eye rolls. I can feel your resentment in your passive-aggressive response. What can I DO to help, there's lots, just let me know what you need and I'll do it. Please don't feel like you have to do it all, you don't.
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ReplyDeleteThat is a tough one isn't Laurie. Sometimes I feel hugely guilty when I get upset at something small in my life. Complain about my husband or kids - really I do have it good. Sometimes when we are upset about things it becomes easier to think of the glass half empty instead of half full. I think that most people do it. And when you have difficulties in your life it becomes all the easier to do that. HUGS and don't ever feel guilty. Sometimes life does suck more than other times. Our strength is when we climb the hurdles life gives us.
ReplyDeleteKaren