Friday I received my long term disability application in the mail. I never thought that it would come to this. I have officially become one of those that I have scorned. In my mind you are never too disabled to work, what the hell has happened? What is happening to me?
To start off, I have become a terrible friend. Exhaustion and pain has forced me to cancel plans with friends. I value time with friends more than anything else. Yesterday, for the first time since March I worked. I worked for 6 hours at the farmer's market. Following this, I had plans to spend an evening with friends. As happy as I am to be productive, after a 6 hour shift I was so fatigued that I could not follow throught with the evening plans. See what I mean? Bad friend! How long will it be before everyone gives up on me?
I'm sick of me!
I'm in mourning. I'm grieving what I perceive to be the loss of the life that I cherish. Today my positive attitude is gone and I feel as though I have nothing left.
To start off, I have become a terrible friend. Exhaustion and pain has forced me to cancel plans with friends. I value time with friends more than anything else. Yesterday, for the first time since March I worked. I worked for 6 hours at the farmer's market. Following this, I had plans to spend an evening with friends. As happy as I am to be productive, after a 6 hour shift I was so fatigued that I could not follow throught with the evening plans. See what I mean? Bad friend! How long will it be before everyone gives up on me?
I'm sick of me!
I'm in mourning. I'm grieving what I perceive to be the loss of the life that I cherish. Today my positive attitude is gone and I feel as though I have nothing left.
Laurie - honey I'm so sorry that I have been so busy with my life that I haven't checked into your blog. I so enjoy reading about your life. I sorry that you are going through so many rough patches - but please know that it is just a bump in the road. True friends NEVER give up on you. They see you through the good and the bad. If you need time for yourself - or you are too tired and have to cancel plans - they will still be there. HUGS. The bump will end and you will start better times.
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOU!
Karen